Am I the only one or many more like me face this kind of problem.
Last few weeks I have been going through such a torture. Some weekends when I am in Shimla, I go to mall road and sit in my favourite café to work on my novel. But last few times, I am not able to write more than a page. Forget a page, paragraphs and my mind is blank. I just keep looking at screen of my laptop. I look around and I see all the people sitting and busy doing their own things. I see outside the window and I see happy people walking on mall road completely carefree. I look back at my screen and nothing comes to my mind. Like an idiot I am just looking around.
God I hope it’s not going to last long.
Made few new friends online. I feel so happy checking my google plus account. The number of such talented and beautiful people. Some such wonderful pics people post and such great quotes. And I wonder how some manage to write such lovely blogs and poetry. Just wow.
Why I am writing all this I don’t know. Sometimes writing is much easier to do than talking or saying things. People who are prone to go into shell, people with high emotional instability; bottom-line people like me must keep on writing.
Don’t you feel, Internet is the new “voice of sky”. Just write something and throw it online. And wait if somewhere someone responds. It’s like prayers we say by looking up at sky. We whisper it and let it float, up toward the clouds and we wait for a voice to boom. We feel it is coming from sky but it’s more likely our heart talking to our head. The answer we are searching, comes to our mind and we feel as if nature is responding to our thoughts. How natural and beautiful it is. But now, nature I feel is being replaced by internet. We pour out our heart more and more online and wait for that ping of response. I remember when my life completely broke down 4 years ago. I was devastated with grief and lost everything. Night after night I just kept awake and kept looking toward the ceiling of my house. I started visiting the online help groups anonymously seeking words of advice. I was praying to God off course, but I also found solace from strange chat ids. Now I am getting more hooked to internet and more comfortable with idea of letting my thoughts float toward the new sky and maybe response comes via a satellite or undersea cable. I just keep wondering.
