Lost…..
This is how I see the world now. We all are lost. The vacuum of our soul is so easy to see around. The thing is we don’t even wish to stop and ask why..
I am in my office and I am lost. I am in my room and I am lost. I am in market or attending some public function and I am lost. The people all around seem lost. If I ask myself, what I am doing right now or the person standing next to me what and why; that person sounds lost. Most of the people are just in someplace due to social obligation. Hey!! Why are you here….I am here to attend this function…I am here as my friend called me to come….I am here as my family asked me to. Are we only doing everything as we are supposed to do so by others or only due to some specific requirement. We just don’t walk on our own. Without any purpose. Without any reason. Yeah!! How will people react to it. We can be termed insane or just mad.
Since birth this has been my life. When I was born; then I use to go with parents and immediate family wherever they use to go. In school I use to go with my class and be disciplined. In college where the friends like to go. Now when I am working; wherever the boss or work is required. Even when I take holiday I go wherever family wishes to go. Everything starts and end with a purpose. There has to be a reason. Choice has to be consensus and with pros and cons of the place. It’s not because I just felt like going. For this either we cut off the thinking part of mind or we be part of the crowd and enjoy with everybody.
I am not saying all those who are going with family and friends are doing something wrong. Off course we all enjoy and feel less stressed when we are with family and friends. But where is the inner voice. My only issue is when I am just alone sitting in a quiet place my mind is like in meditation mode. The thoughts comes and goes like a slow train. I can hear myself talking and speaking from heart. This should be the ideal case for a human being to find who his inner self is. There are moments when I am in company of family and friends and I get zoned out. Suddenly I will start walking away and standing some place alone or will be sitting with all and lost in my own thoughts. It’s funny at times…my Walter Mitty scene.
I feel like at times to just go to my room, pack my bag, take a bus and go to a far off place. How I hope things could be this simple. It can be but for the fear of all the social and professional repercussion one just tend to control his heart. How my family will feel and how my job will get affected. Happiest moments are when I am in between the travel . Whether in bus, train or aircraft. The journey is more beautiful moment for me rather than the destination. The fleeting sights and sounds, the smells and pictures. But then, I tend to see around people and myself all going for some purpose. And the whole moment is stopped. I just wish we all start our journey not because we have some work at our destination but sheer feel for travel .let’s just travel and think not of destination. But is it possible…
World was never the place where our choices work. Keep following the crowd.
